Revisit Past Dramas
Prismatic6/5/2015 So we finally entered the vicinity, didn't bother looking for our seats, and sang our hearts out. I did have a lot of fun, except the part where Katy seemed to think that her concertgoers do not speak a single English word. I mean, girl, you have been in the country before, how and why in the world would you even think that Filipinos do not understand or speak English? I forgave her of course, when she sang my favorite song from her. I also found it funny when she tried to say "thank you" in Filipino, and she never really got it right the first time. When the concert ended, we really didn't want to go home, but we still have to go to work the next day so we dragged ourselves out of the arena. We didn't have any problems boarding a shuttle back to Makati, because there were 3 waiting to be filled.The problem was getting out of the arena. Imagine, a sold- out concert, plus shuttle buses, plus private cars. Conclusion? It took us an hour to get out of the arena. Imagine the shock on Janine's face when she tried to catch some zzzs, waking up still seeing the arena on her window, then finding out that an hour has already passed. Any ways, we got to Makati at 2 in the morning, we still have to sleepily find our way back to the office where we left our things. We had a lot of fun of course, but I still wanted to kick Janine in the face for her negativity. Click button for pictures.
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May 7- Thursday I was still drunk from happiness after checking one item from my bucket list when I saw this email from work saying someone (I don't know why?) gave the company 3 tickets to this ridiculous Katy Perry concert. Don't get me wrong, I am a fan of Katy Perry but to hold it in a venue so far far away from the city and dub it "live in manila" when it is in fact not a part of manila is just ridiculous to me. So 3 people have already volunteered to go to this ridiculousness, and I was just like whatever, never knowing that I would be given my turn and see my second concert in a span of days. By 5 pm, someone backed out, she said her parents didn't allow her to go to the concert, what more? One ticket is up for grabs. We volunteered the only guy in our group because he is a guy. I mean his parents wouldn't be worried sick whatsoever if he suddenly went to a concert on a Thursday night (I don't get why?). By this time, I was trying not to call attention to myself (which is so freaking hard!) because if I did my ass would be dragged to go to the concert and I don't even know how to go to the freaking place. By 5:30 pm, everybody have backed out (yes because their parents didn't allow them to go to that far off place), and 3 tickets were up for grabs. So in spite of me not calling any attention to myself, I, Janine, and Tofi were forced(?) to go to Bulacan to watch Katy Perry since, in my boss's words "sayang ang libreng ticket". <to be continued>.... *the names were changed to protect the identity of the people involved. I repeat, THESE NAMES I DROPPED ARE NOT MY COWORKERS REAL NAMES... impromptu travelling5/8/2015
again the names I dropped are not the names of my coworkers. Morning Sick4/26/2015 I hate mornings. I really do, and I don't think there is a specific number on how many times I would repeat that statement just to express my aversion to that particular time of the day. Why? Well, it's hot, it's draining and it's not just for me. I mean, I can't keep track of the number of times i've woken in the morning only to fall asleep again. It's weird because when I wake up late I have no problems of this type whatsoever. Plus, the food is beyond me.
Yes, it's heavenly of course, but unless you have household help to prepare it for you in the wee hours then you wouldn't probably bother with breakfast anymore. Another thing is, I'm not particularly a fan of how breakfasts make you eat more than you should. Imagine this, you've already eaten a big heavy breakfast, but by 9 am you are starving to death again as if you didn't even bother having a breakfast feast in the first place. Unfortunately for me, I'm gonna have to endure this type of morning sickness this whole summer. Why? Well I do have a flexible schedule at work now and as much as I wanted to come in late I'm gonna have to give up on that till summer ends. I do enjoy coming in late of course, the problem is its always too hot to travel. So the plan is i'm gonna come in early and leave late so I could avoid the searing heat mornings are famed for. I'm gonna have to make this super breakfasts I can bring to the office (mostly oat meals, with no trace of milk), while trying my best not to gloat on how sophisticated I look with my mason jar.The only problem left now is how long am I gonna be able to keep this up before I crack. Good luck to me. a different summer4/12/2015 Summer, for me is the perfect time to just laze around doing everything from anything to nothing. As for me, I always find myself doing nothing during summers. How? Well school is out, and I would be scheming on getting out of whatever attempts my mom would make to enroll me in Math summer workshops. When I got older I always find myself out of job by March. Not this time though, because yes, for the first time in my life I have a "summer job".
It was fine actually, I mean I never really experience the full force of the summer heat because of our office's air conditioning. Plus, I love the fact that I can get away with violating the company's dress code just by looking frazzled by the heat when I enter the premises, and of course, the uneasy stares and questions i've been getting when my office mates notice my spaghetti straps. It's actually fun hearing all of the summer plans my office mates have for themselves, while thinking of ways on how to save all the money they have to spend on their trips. I, of course would be imagining going on trips myself, and secretly hoping I would be invited to those trips they are planning. My boss of course, planned some trips herself for the whole team, but since my teammates have plans for themselves it seems like we would be having our summer trip in June. I do feel pity for our boss, since my teammates have no money to spare since they have their own trips planned. The fact also stands that it seems like every freaking week of the summer months someone is away to the beach. I also sort of mentioned that I have hydrophobia so I would want to avoid any body of water, but majority of the team wants to be in water, so that's bad luck for me. This is definitely a different kind of summer for me, I mean I would now be worrying of not being able to buy on time all of the summer outfits I wanna wear, because of a summer trip that might or might not happen. On the brighter side, at least there is less chance for me to contract prickly heat, which I did last summer. unexplainable3/6/2015 There are no words ( well i'm sue there is I just haven't found them yet) that could express how i'm feeling good thing Sam Smith already made it to mainstream music or else I don't know...
Lay Me Down by Sam Smith Yes I do, I believe That one day I will be, where I was Right there, right next to you And it's hard, the days just seem so dark The moon, and the stars, are nothing without you Your touch, your skin, where do I begin? No words can explain, the way I'm missing you The night, this emptiness, this hole that I'm inside These tears, they tell their own story You told me not to cry when you were gone But the feeling's overwhelming, it's much too strong Can I lay by your side, next to you, you And make sure you're alright I'll take care of you And I don't want to be here if I can't be with you tonight I'm reaching out to you Can you hear my call? (Who's to say you won't hear me?) This hurt that I've been through I'm missing you, missing you like crazy You told me not to cry when you were gone But the feeling's overwhelming, it's much too strong Can I lay by your side, next to you, you And make sure you're alright I'll take care of you And I don't wanna be here if I can't be with you tonight Lay me down tonight, lay me by your side Lay me down tonight, lay me by your side Can I lay by your side, next to you, you Songwriters SMITH, SAM / NAPIER, JAMES / SMITH, ELVIN Published by Lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, Universal Music Publishing Group Orson's Farm: the road to Depression12/22/2014 I have been so busy at work, imagine working with a supertyphoon for 2 days, then your boss will announce that unfortunately pre- shift OTs will be implemented. You will be at the office for almost 12 hours hearing nothing but unanswered calls worrying about targets, then repeat for two weeks. So when I had the chance to file for a leave (without pay) for the holidays I took advantage of it of course.
What I didn't expect was the extent of my problems' effect on me. Before I went to work, I was like Bella in New Moon when Edward left her. I was staring blankly in space. I didn't have any appetite, I would be in my room crying my eyes out, I sleep early now, not because of habit but because my eyes were too tired from all the crying. I even had desperate thoughts in my mind. Before I wanted to slash my wrists and start using illegal drugs. Now, I wanted to hurl myself off on an oncoming train. I was probably tired of that new persona I created especially for work. There is this stabbing pain in my heart, I do know where it comes from and it's so hard and painful to continue on life like this. How could a person that I have loved so much, make me feel this pain? How could a person whose flaws I have accepted and loved not give me a chance when I asked for it? It's not that I am counting off the things I have done wrong vs. the the things he did wrong, but it's just so hard to understand. Why did I get replaced? Because I wasn't there? Because I didn't have the time? Yes I know it was my fault. But is that enough reason to reach out and flirt with another person and fall in love? It's not that I was enjoying my time alone without him, The time I couldn't spend with him was mostly spent on thinking and worrying about if he has enough time to rest, if he has been eating right, if he has time to enjoy his life. Yeah, sure it was my fault I am not the communicating type. It was my fault that every time we had time to talk we end up arguing. I did explain my side of the story and he said he understands. If only I had known that understanding meant, he would just reach out and flirt with another, I wouldn't be trying so hard balancing my love with my ambitions. Then I would just find out that I have been too late, that there is nothing I could do. I didn't even had the chance to show him that I love him so much. Then he goes and tells me, that his world doesn't revolve around me anymore, that he has been avoiding me because he hopes that I would just forget him, that he is tired of me and that now I must go on with life alone, . Plus I have seen him flirt with that girl and I know that I would never ever be able to compete with her. She's obviously prettier and more sociable, probably smarter, and bonus points to the fact that when he contacts her she can text right away because she never had problems loading, and she has no problems going place to place because her parents would allow her to go to all the places she likes, very not like me. I would have to always try to avoid my parents every time I had to go to his place when he needs my presence. I don't know how long I can do this, i'm sure as hell I wouldn't be able to do what he has just done. I couldn't just move on with another guy, that is just not me, even with material things like clothes or shoes, I always stick to what I want, and as of the moment he is what I want. No other person will ever be able to compete with him in my heart in the same way I wouldn't be expected to win against his new object of affection. I have tried so many times in the past to drive him out of my system, if I wasn't able to do it before how could I be expected to do it this time? Orson's Farm: the Death of Me12/18/2014 There is no way I would be able to survive this the "Shan Cai" way. Kahit anong gawin ko para ipaglaban yung nararamdaman ko tatanggihan nya pa rin ako. Alam ko kasi nangyari na to dati. Naulit na to e, nandito na naman kasi sa point na ako lang yung may gusto sa kanya. Yung kahit anong gawin kong papansin sa kanya walang effect or worse balewala lang. Kaya ano pa nga bang magagawa kung kindi ang maging si Bella. Si Bella na nakatingin lang sa malayo. Si Bella na ang pwede lang gawin ay mag imagine na nasa tabi nya si Edward kahit hindi totoo.
Nung una kong nabasa yung Twilight, nakita ko na, na ako si Bella at sya yung Edward ko. Tingin lang ang pwede kong gawin, hindi ako pwedeng lumapit sa kanya kahit gustong- gusto ko. Sa di malamang kadahilanan kasi pag lalapit ako lumalayo sya. Ngayong nandito na ko sa part na iniwan na ko ni Edward, lahat ng pinagdaanan ni Bella, pinagdadaanan ko na rin. Umaalis ako ng bahay ng tulala, bigla na lang akong umiiyak habang bumabyahe, sya lang ang iniisip ko kahit office hours. Minsan makita ko lang yung pangalan nya kahit hindi sya yun, naiiyak na ko kasi alam ko sa sarili ko na handa ankong ipagpalit lahat ng meron ako ngayon, makasama ko lang ulit sya. Maraming tao ang nagsasabi gamitin ang utak wag ang puso. Sorry na lang kayo kasi yung puso at isip ko united, iisa ang gusto, Sya. Bago matulog sa gabi, naiisip ko sya, habang natutulog ako sya lang palagi ang nasa panaginip ko, pag nagising ako sya lang din ulit maiiisip ko. Ang sabi sa school maraming sides ang isang tao. Ako iisa na lang ang side ko, kasi nag- unite na sila at iisa lang ang gusto nila. Walang iba kung hindi si *******. Y.E.C12/14/2014 Last night I went to our company's Christmas party or the Year End Celebration. I went as early as I could since I missed a lot last Y.E.C from another company because I was late, and I really wanted to be part of the V.I.P list. I was early this time that the guards wasn't even allowing guests to enter the venue yet, but I didn't really care because I was handed a VIP pass. Since, my colleagues arrived later than the cut- off to be considered a VIP I was able to enjoy being alone, although I had to be conscious of their need to see and bond with me. So to balance my alone time and their need to be with me, I decided to eat alone in the VIP area and watch the proceedings of the programme in the commoner's area. Anyways, VIPs have their own buffet table, mobile bar, and washrooms that you can have all to yourself. I would say that it is an introvert's dream, there is not much people. You could have the whole table, and buffet area for yourself. Now that we are on the topic of food, it's time to compare and criticize. First up, I like feeling like a food critic and I blame it all on watching those cooking contests on TV, they really do make you act like a food critic when you eat. So what did I think? Well, i like this buffet better than my last experience in another company. Why? I like the fact that we were encouraged to go for seconds, when I tried to do that last year, I was informed that we can only come back once, because there might not be food for everyone, which is silly of , course why the hell even bother calling it a buffet then? Next, the flavor, my top choice was the chicken dish, it was heaven. Tasty, moist and the hearty serving, it is definitely my top choice. Bottom pick would be the fish fillet (too dry), and the buttered vegetables (overcooked). Weird food award goes to the beef dish. I knew it was beef because it said so on the label, but it tasted like pork. So I thought, maybe there was something wrong with me. Thank God, my companions on the table, were loudly debating the same thing. One said it's pork because it tasted like one. Another said, it's beef because it's hard to chew. Anyways, I avoided that dish when I got hungry again.
Then there were the performances, which I enjoyed on my VIP view. Of course, I became a critic (can't help it). It really is a different view up there. You could see if they have the same timing, or who got the steps wrong. Sadly, my team sucked. But, hey at least my bet won. Sadly, they only invited one band to perform, that was one attraction I enjoyed from my last year's experience. The rest they left it to an invited DJ. Aside from the lack of bands that performed, I was disappointed that they didn't give company merchandise, I was really looking forward to it. Thankfully, my colleagues were understanding enough that if I went to the VIP area to spend time with myself they didn't mind(or maybe not, I would find out on Monday). Plus, when I said no to the booze offered they didn't push me. The part I hated the most was when my mom called and texted, she really must think i'm too helpless to keep myself out of harm's way. I wasn't planning to go home last night. It was my fault I shouldn't have said that I was only going to a Christmas party. I can't wait to move out. But hey, at least the party was OK. (for more pictures click the button below) A Day in a Loser's Life11/17/2014 Last week was a realization of how my life sucked. First, I lost my best friend. The only person I care for more than anything in the world. Second, I asked my mom for money before going to work. I remembered folding it. Then, when I was on the tricycle stop I realized it's not in my pocket, so I had to go back home to look for the damn money. Since, I couldn't find it I had to ask for money again. It took me thirty minutes to do that thereby making me late.
The pressure at work and the depression I was undergoing made me cry at work at the simplest of reasons. Plus, I had my ID pictorial that day in all my haggard glory.. When the time to go home came, I walked 3 blocks away from our office to make sure that I don't stand on the whole ride home. But, since I was very unlucky, I still stood up on the bus in heavy traffic and the great part of the day? There was no food yet, so I slept hungry. Great.. AuthorShe thinks she is an incredible writer. This space's purpose is just to have a place where she could dump the garbage on her mind without her mother's snooping. Archives
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