Revisit Past Dramas
Orson's Farm: stab to the heart10/27/2014 Yes we have talked, but is it enough? Were the things that needed to be addressed really addressed? In my opinion ? No it wasn't the end of the conversation. If there is one thing Meteor Garden has taught me it is to fight for your love, and that is exactly what I am going to do.
I am fighting for this love because it is the only thing I have. I know others would have said otherwise but in my situation it really is what I am proud of. It is the only thing that is right in my world, and I will do whatever it takes to make it work. Sure I have been a dick in the past, I see that now, and I will do everything to have a second chance at this love and make it right. Why? Simple, he has fought for this love during the times when I wanted to give up. It is now my turn to hold on as tightly as I can now that he is the one who can't hold on. Of course, I wouldn't blame him, i've been in the same situation as he is right now and he never wavered. Whatever he will say or do I would not stop trying to fight for my right to be with him. Then I see a picture of him with that girl he is always busy texting when we are together. It really made me fight even harder for my place in his heart when I saw that picture. Him with that girl both having big smiles he even had his arm around the girl. I am not kidding when I say it drove me insane. Now I swear by Shan Chai and Dao Ming Xi's love that I WILL NEVER EVER STOP FIGHTING FOR MY PLACE. I WILL NEVER EVER WAVER IN THIS FIGHT FOR LOVE AND FRIENDSHIP.
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Orson's Farm: Bittersweet10/9/2014 Finally, the time has come for me to see him again. It almost didn't happen, but I know that if it didn't I would not be able to bear the feeling of disappointment. So I went to his house. The very first chance I got I gave him an embrace worth waiting for. I just couldn't help myself but weep in his arms. He was in a hurry on the way to work so I controlled myself although all I want to do is give him a never ending bear hug. We got a chance to drop by a mall where I didn't even stop myself from clinging to him. That is how much I miss him. The time came for us to head to his workplace so we rode a bus where I couldn't stop the tears flowing . Of course, I know that the time has come for us to part ways yet again and that what's made me anxious. Before he got in the building he told me that he knows how I am feeling as of the moment. At that point I just broke down. I clung to him as he is my lifeline he tried to comfort as I was beginning to sob hysterically. I couldn't help myself I was so terrified of not seeing him for a very long time I had to ask him to kiss me. When I finally got control of my emotions again I felt combination of numbness and emptiness. He promised to give me a call which was more than enough to calm me down. We managed to part ways, him to work and I walked the opposite direction like a zombie with tears streaming down my face.
I cried on the bus going home,then I cried some more alone in my room in the dark. I relived my day convincing myself that it was not a dream, that what I want most in the world as of the moment has indeed happen. However, I can't help but notice that in the moments that I hugged him, and touched him he didn't return those gestures. It made me unhappy again of course, but then again he was not really the touchy feely guy especially in public places.I just wished that he should have just indulged himself since we haven't laid eyes on each other for ages. Right now I don't care anymore I will just be eagerly looking forward to the day that I will be with him hopefully for a longer time. AuthorShe thinks she is an incredible writer. This space's purpose is just to have a place where she could dump the garbage on her mind without her mother's snooping. Archives
July 2020
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