Revisit Past Dramas
Unrequited- Part II3/31/2014 Dear Crush na lately napapanaginipan ko,
So ayun nga ano ba meron ang ibang girls na wala sa kin (or should I say ano bang meron ako na di mo nakita sa ibang girls kaya sila ang gusto mo)? Okay naman yata ako e (yata lang) at isa pa (oops! wala na palang isa pa), basta! Naalala ko pa nung senior prom inalam ko pa kung may date ka na, (yes wala pa!) ginather ( ano daw?) ko ang lakas ko para ako na aaya sayo para magkadate tayo. Sa kasamaang- palad tatanungin pa lang kita sinabi mo na agad na okay lang naman walang date sa prom wala lang naman yun. Di mo lang alam gumuho mundo ko nun (exagg), kung baga sa lalaki di pa nanliligaw basted(?) na. Pero ano tong nangyayari ( ewan)? napanaginipan kita 9 times na ( 1 impossible dream per month). Sorry kung aaminin ko na I do long for the nights na napapanaginipan kita. Nakakaloka kasi e, may sequence pa talaga yung dreams; may first date, first hug, at may oh so subtle na aminan pa ng loving feelings ( ano daw? yucky) na nangyayari. Nakakabaliw pa dun paggising ko may lingering feeling ng kilig effect that will last a few weeks. Kaya kung totoo man yung kumakalat sa FB na pag napanaginipan mo ang tao ibig sabihin gusto ka nyang makita, sana wag naman na papakitaan mo ko ng attitude. You know, wag mo ipamukha ever yung nabasa mo sa sulat ko sa yo. Wag mo din naman syempre akong awayin or asarin, at lalong lalo na wag ka maiilang nor mandidiri sa akin. Akala mo ba madali para sa kin yung pinagdadaanan ko? Like you, di ko rin naman gusto tong feeling na ito. Pero it would really mean a lot (as in super) kung aminin mo sa kin kung kahit minsan naging crush mo din ba ko (asa pa ko). Kahit kelan mo gustuhin kahit after 20 years pa, ok? Forever hoping, me :)
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Unrequited3/17/2014 Dear high school crush who is often in my dreams,
Hindi kita crush at first sight naging crush lang kita nung last year na natin sa high school. Although di na tayo magkakalase nun naging crush pa rin kita kasi naging sumpa na yata sa akin yung mga late reaction. Akalain mo yung naging crush kita kung kelan di na kita classmate (hindi kita malalandi the whole day) ang hirap nun kasi hanggang tingin na lang ako (bagay na ayaw na ayaw kong mangyari sa kin). Kaya ako sumulat sa iyo kasi gusto ko lang ilabas yung frustration s ko. Kaya ko naman din napili tong paraan na to kasi alam ko ayaw mo sa straight forward na girls nakakaturn off nga naman siguro kung sabihin ko to ng personal. Sana lang ay mabasa mo itong kwento ko sa yo Nung mga unang taon natin sa high school wala akong pakialam sa yo, (syempre may mga classmates ka na deadma lang) meron kasi akong ibang crush nun e. Naging common classmate lang kita hanggang third year natin at narealize kong pwede pala kitang maging crush. Music ang subject natin nun at meron tayong presentations per group nung nangyari yung realization na iyon. Basta nung group nyo na yung nagpresent mejo nagpakitang gilas ka sa talent mo. Sobrang kinilabutan ako sa pagbibida- bida mo ni hindi ko na pinansin na sa sobrang yabang mo dumulas yung pick mo. Dun ko biglang nakita na ang gwapo mo pala (yuck). Kaso hindi ako pwede gaanong magpacute kasi naalala ko ang sabi mo nuon ayaw mo sa babaeng malandi. Na- heartbroken din ako kasi dalawa sa mga kaibigan ko ay naging crush mo na. Mejo nasaktan(?) ako kasi naisip ko parehas lang naman kaming mga simpleng babae nung mga friends ko pero bakit ako hindi mo crush? Maganda(?), maputi, makinis at mas matalino pa ako sa kanila( oo bitter ako) pero bakit hindi mo ako naging crush. *to be continued... Back Again3/9/2014 Some say you should never reread your old blog entries (or anything that you might have written during a time you were emotional or whatever),because it's going to make you feel embarrassed. I don't agree of course, there are a lot of things I remembered about myself when I do this but none have made me embarrassed so far.
There was this one time I was reading through my journal when I stumbled upon an entry about a TV show I was so addicted to, I never felt embarrassment but it made me think about how things seemed so far away and hoped that somehow I would be able to watch that show so I can feel the excitement that I felt when it was cool back then. There is this another time I was reading my former blog, it was crazy because there were events wherein I have no idea even ever happened to me. I sometimes think who is that evil person who once accused me of being such a plastic. I keep on trying to remember what I might have said or done to that person for him to accuse me of being a plastic. So see it's not so bad browsing through things that you have written before. It might make you embarrassed at times, but it also helps in remembering things that you have forgotten about yourself. You never know you might even learn some wisdom from reading back to your past mistakes. All you need to do is just to turn the pages. AuthorShe thinks she is an incredible writer. This space's purpose is just to have a place where she could dump the garbage on her mind without her mother's snooping. Archives
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