Revisit Past Dramas
unexplainable3/6/2015 There are no words ( well i'm sue there is I just haven't found them yet) that could express how i'm feeling good thing Sam Smith already made it to mainstream music or else I don't know...
Lay Me Down by Sam Smith Yes I do, I believe That one day I will be, where I was Right there, right next to you And it's hard, the days just seem so dark The moon, and the stars, are nothing without you Your touch, your skin, where do I begin? No words can explain, the way I'm missing you The night, this emptiness, this hole that I'm inside These tears, they tell their own story You told me not to cry when you were gone But the feeling's overwhelming, it's much too strong Can I lay by your side, next to you, you And make sure you're alright I'll take care of you And I don't want to be here if I can't be with you tonight I'm reaching out to you Can you hear my call? (Who's to say you won't hear me?) This hurt that I've been through I'm missing you, missing you like crazy You told me not to cry when you were gone But the feeling's overwhelming, it's much too strong Can I lay by your side, next to you, you And make sure you're alright I'll take care of you And I don't wanna be here if I can't be with you tonight Lay me down tonight, lay me by your side Lay me down tonight, lay me by your side Can I lay by your side, next to you, you Songwriters SMITH, SAM / NAPIER, JAMES / SMITH, ELVIN Published by Lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, Universal Music Publishing Group
0 Comments
Orson's Farm: the road to Depression12/22/2014 I have been so busy at work, imagine working with a supertyphoon for 2 days, then your boss will announce that unfortunately pre- shift OTs will be implemented. You will be at the office for almost 12 hours hearing nothing but unanswered calls worrying about targets, then repeat for two weeks. So when I had the chance to file for a leave (without pay) for the holidays I took advantage of it of course.
What I didn't expect was the extent of my problems' effect on me. Before I went to work, I was like Bella in New Moon when Edward left her. I was staring blankly in space. I didn't have any appetite, I would be in my room crying my eyes out, I sleep early now, not because of habit but because my eyes were too tired from all the crying. I even had desperate thoughts in my mind. Before I wanted to slash my wrists and start using illegal drugs. Now, I wanted to hurl myself off on an oncoming train. I was probably tired of that new persona I created especially for work. There is this stabbing pain in my heart, I do know where it comes from and it's so hard and painful to continue on life like this. How could a person that I have loved so much, make me feel this pain? How could a person whose flaws I have accepted and loved not give me a chance when I asked for it? It's not that I am counting off the things I have done wrong vs. the the things he did wrong, but it's just so hard to understand. Why did I get replaced? Because I wasn't there? Because I didn't have the time? Yes I know it was my fault. But is that enough reason to reach out and flirt with another person and fall in love? It's not that I was enjoying my time alone without him, The time I couldn't spend with him was mostly spent on thinking and worrying about if he has enough time to rest, if he has been eating right, if he has time to enjoy his life. Yeah, sure it was my fault I am not the communicating type. It was my fault that every time we had time to talk we end up arguing. I did explain my side of the story and he said he understands. If only I had known that understanding meant, he would just reach out and flirt with another, I wouldn't be trying so hard balancing my love with my ambitions. Then I would just find out that I have been too late, that there is nothing I could do. I didn't even had the chance to show him that I love him so much. Then he goes and tells me, that his world doesn't revolve around me anymore, that he has been avoiding me because he hopes that I would just forget him, that he is tired of me and that now I must go on with life alone, . Plus I have seen him flirt with that girl and I know that I would never ever be able to compete with her. She's obviously prettier and more sociable, probably smarter, and bonus points to the fact that when he contacts her she can text right away because she never had problems loading, and she has no problems going place to place because her parents would allow her to go to all the places she likes, very not like me. I would have to always try to avoid my parents every time I had to go to his place when he needs my presence. I don't know how long I can do this, i'm sure as hell I wouldn't be able to do what he has just done. I couldn't just move on with another guy, that is just not me, even with material things like clothes or shoes, I always stick to what I want, and as of the moment he is what I want. No other person will ever be able to compete with him in my heart in the same way I wouldn't be expected to win against his new object of affection. I have tried so many times in the past to drive him out of my system, if I wasn't able to do it before how could I be expected to do it this time? Orson's Farm: the Death of Me12/18/2014 There is no way I would be able to survive this the "Shan Cai" way. Kahit anong gawin ko para ipaglaban yung nararamdaman ko tatanggihan nya pa rin ako. Alam ko kasi nangyari na to dati. Naulit na to e, nandito na naman kasi sa point na ako lang yung may gusto sa kanya. Yung kahit anong gawin kong papansin sa kanya walang effect or worse balewala lang. Kaya ano pa nga bang magagawa kung kindi ang maging si Bella. Si Bella na nakatingin lang sa malayo. Si Bella na ang pwede lang gawin ay mag imagine na nasa tabi nya si Edward kahit hindi totoo.
Nung una kong nabasa yung Twilight, nakita ko na, na ako si Bella at sya yung Edward ko. Tingin lang ang pwede kong gawin, hindi ako pwedeng lumapit sa kanya kahit gustong- gusto ko. Sa di malamang kadahilanan kasi pag lalapit ako lumalayo sya. Ngayong nandito na ko sa part na iniwan na ko ni Edward, lahat ng pinagdaanan ni Bella, pinagdadaanan ko na rin. Umaalis ako ng bahay ng tulala, bigla na lang akong umiiyak habang bumabyahe, sya lang ang iniisip ko kahit office hours. Minsan makita ko lang yung pangalan nya kahit hindi sya yun, naiiyak na ko kasi alam ko sa sarili ko na handa ankong ipagpalit lahat ng meron ako ngayon, makasama ko lang ulit sya. Maraming tao ang nagsasabi gamitin ang utak wag ang puso. Sorry na lang kayo kasi yung puso at isip ko united, iisa ang gusto, Sya. Bago matulog sa gabi, naiisip ko sya, habang natutulog ako sya lang palagi ang nasa panaginip ko, pag nagising ako sya lang din ulit maiiisip ko. Ang sabi sa school maraming sides ang isang tao. Ako iisa na lang ang side ko, kasi nag- unite na sila at iisa lang ang gusto nila. Walang iba kung hindi si *******. effin love is complex5/1/2014 Love lifts us up where we belong We've seen it, read it and some even went to the extremes and experienced it. Love's definition depends on the person asked to describe it. Some speak of it as if it's a dream come true, some speak of love as if they were scorned by the God of love himself. There are some who use it as an inspiration, and others who think of it as a play thing. The question really is what is it? Alas, no one knows exactly as we can only know it through experience. Still, everybody has different experience so there really no definite answer to this question.
Love, it is how you care for your siblings even though there is nothing more that will give you happiness than to make them miserable. You can even show your love to your parents by buying them tickets to an out of town trip for a week's worth of vacation so you can have the house to yourself. It is the way you fight with a boy/ girlfriend just because your hormones says so. It's the way you get your crush's attention though you know they will just ignore you. It is even in how you refuse to give money to beggars so they will not be tempted to use the money they collected from drugs. You even go to the point where you make "parinig" to your enemies so they will know what wrong they did. What do I know about love? Is two decades of living on earth enough for me to define love? Do I have enough experience to describe love and put it into writing? I don't really care, I just want to share the things I have seen which makes me think that this is love. Does it really appear as I have described? So does this mean that love always come with reason? Maybe, you may not know it or even feel it if you think i'm wrong feel free to share your ideas. AuthorShe thinks she is an incredible writer. This space's purpose is just to have a place where she could dump the garbage on her mind without her mother's snooping. Archives
July 2020
Categories
All
|